By: Lisa Blair & David Bedrick

In this post, we will talk about the first two phases of relationship: phase one, which is all about unity, similarity, and harmony; and phase two, which is all about fostering and embracing diversity. We’ll do this by commenting on some song lyrics, a poem, and a parable. Each speaks to some aspect of either the first phase, the end of the first phase, or the entrance into the second phase of relationship. Even though the examples come from traditional love stories of romantic partnerships, the experiences they describe refer to all kinds of relationships: friendships, child and parent relationships, student and teacher relationships, business partnership, marriage, and so forth. What most relationships have in common (especially when they occur over longer periods of time), is that in the beginning there is a more idealized view of the other person that mesmerizes us (and often blinds us), and later a more realistic and authentic view of the other person that sobers us and wakes us up from a slumber. Let’s begin with a quintessential phase-one story from the famous Broadway musical West Side Story.